Samson Först, The Grager,1 Written in the Camp:
For Purim, a brochure
Full of satire
On Hitler’s carcass
And all his great strength
Published in Bucharest, 1947
The Grager wishes our friends Mr. Uri Benador and Mr. Cristian a happy Purim
A Great Purim Sensation
How Haman had an audience with God.
According to the latest radio reports on Rosh Khodesh Adar,3 the following Purim sensation is reported specially for our Purim Grager:
"We draw the attention of our Grager readers to the fact that everyone ought to read this article attentively and ought not to think that this is simply a fabricated Purim tale to entertain the folk a bit during Purim season.
Two weeks before Purim, a grandson of the famous Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore,4 the famous fakir and spiritualist Ordmulz Tagos, came from India to Schischam-Haborn. As soon as he checked in to the Karmalecho hotel, he discovered a waiter who was a great medium. When the local spiritualists became aware of this medium, the Spiritualist Association invited him to a séance. And here we present every word the spirit of Haman the Evil said to the medium:
"Spiritualists, my friends, you ought to know the spirit that speaks to you from the other world is I, the renowned Haman the Evil, the former prime minister of the historic King Ahasuerus,5 who lives together with his beloved wife Queen Esther6 and her dear uncle, the tsaddik Mordecai7 in Gan Eydn.8 I can only tell you that all three are healthy and living a princely life and prospering, thanks be to God, and may it be said of every Jew, let us all say amen. Perhaps you'd like to ask me when I, the renowned Haman, suddenly turned into a tsaddik in a fur coat9 who wishes Jews well. Have a bit of patience and I'll tell you how my hellish life was transformed after so many years of broiling and baking in hell thanks to the Hitleriade with its fascist Hamans who are now in hell and are occupying all the sections until more chambers can be built. We, the old Haman prisoner-villains, like Titus,10 Pare, Bilem,11 Bulok, Nero,12 and from modern times Lueger,13 Purishkevich,14 Krujewan, Petlura,15 Codreanu,16 Totu, Cuza, Goga, Antonescu,17 etc., etc., whose names the devil may know. But as soon as I rested a little from such a long period of torment in hell and recovered a bit, I got up several weeks ago and went to my friend Mordecai and asked him to urge the Beit Din Shel Maalah18 to grant me an audience because I had a brand new Purim project. Mordecai received me in a very friendly manner and explained to me he was very pleased that after such a long time I hadn’t forgotten that a nation of Israel exists. And after so much hell. I even wanted to present a project to God to expand and beautify their Purim. It didn't take long to convince Mordecai, and he left with me for Gan Eydn Street and introduced me to the king that stands before the gate of the Beit Din Shel Maalah with his fiery sword. Mordecai displayed his business card, we were immediately led into a corridor full of diamonds. The king there, Gavril,19 instructed us to sit on two diamond chairs, demanded for us a roll of parchment, and asked us to write down what sort of a request we had. After a few minutes, we were led into a large chamber where a council of kings and tsaddiks sat. One of the kings said to me in a very friendly tone:
"Do not fear, my child, and say what you request." And I introduced myself: I am Haman and I suffered for so many years in the hellish camp for nothing, only because one Purim I got drunk and had an incident with our friend Mordecai—here he stands before you, heavenly lords! Let him say it. Did I even touch him with my hand? It's only because I felt insulted as minister when my friend Mordecai saw me on my way to the royal court and didn’t greet me. And this is why I gave the order that all the Jews from throughout the country should leave for Eretz Israel. And what the consequences were, o my lords, you certainly read in the Book of Esther, and how I suffered a bitter defeat. And thanks to my defeat, the Jews got a holiday, our dear, beloved Purim. And every year when the Jews read the Book of Esther and when my name Haman is mentioned, I really hear it from the Jews, partly with gragers, partly by tapping feet, and my head becomes so confused that I don't know what sort of world it is I'm on. And this is indeed why I want to ask God to forgive me my sins against his people Israel. I now want to convert to Judaism and to change my name from Haman the Evil to Haman HaZadik, and the entire Book of Esther starting with the current Purim should be changed to the Book of Hitler, and instead of Hamantaschen20 with three points, Hitlertaschen with 12 points should be made,21 and Purim should not be in the middle of Adar but rather on the day the Red Army strolled into Berlin and destroyed Hitler, the Haman of the world, together with his SS bandits. And now we all have a happy Purim.
Your grateful friend,
Why the Jews would shovel snow for Antonescu